私はいじめっ子です
As if the Internet hasn’t freaked out about Yu Darvish enough over the last 24 hours, I’m back to take a look at two of Darvish’s victims from his days in Japan. Since half the world’s population has already seen this .gif (as they should), I’ve decided to take a different route.
When Darvish came over last year, we all scurried to our computers or mobile devices to watch some video of the half Japanese, half Iranian freak show of awesomeness. It did not disappoint. While scouring said video, I came across two strikeout victims of Darvish’s that stood out to me. Let’s take a look.
VICTIM 1:
Darvish unleashes a true 80-grade slider to an innocent batter who simply collapses while attempting to make contact. This is a batter that probably has a wife and kids. Those beloved assumed family members had to watch him fall victim to this torturous sin of a pitch. His back leg straight up dies on him and then the rest of his embarrassed body goes down with it. I enjoy the catcher receiving the pitch and then turning away as if to avoid looking at the dumbfounded batter…or he got hit in the nuts. I can’t really tell. Anyway, I love this. But it’s not nearly as awesome as this next one.
VICTIM 2:
Darvish throws a 90 MPH fastball Up and In and the batter swings, quite literally, for his life. The fact that it wasn’t actually that close to his head makes this even better. Let’s just imagine the thoughts of each human being involved in this beautiful sequence.
- Darvish: Okay, he wants up and in. I can do that.
- Catcher: Up and in, Yu. Right here.
- Batter: oh my god oh my god oh my god what am I gonna do
- Umpire: how the hell am I supposed to call this guy
- Darvish: *goes into windup*
- Batter: okay man you got this just go into your leg kick and
- Darvish: *releases ball*
- Batter: DEAR GOD WHAT THE SHIT *swings* *dies*
- Catcher: *catches pitch* whoops
- Umpire: uhhh is he breathing
- Darvish: *sheepishly touches back of head* hehe I’m Yu Darvish
- Batter: *is still dead*
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Daily Darvish. Get some.